Dan Among Den

10 Things I’ve done and you probably have too:

1. Voted.


2. Read this list.


3. Vomited. (hopefully not in that order)


4. Been treated by a professional doctor with a real education.


5. Met someone on the internet you never would have run into directly.


6. Had a three-day weekend.


7. Had cynical thoughts about a politician.


8. Lit a match.


9. Watched television.


10. Ruined a perfect 100% purity score.

10 Things I’ve done that you probably haven’t:

1. Owned my own company for several years, sold it, and made money on it.


2. Completed over half of a self-paced course in the last week of classes. (After I did this, the EE department changed the rules to prevent this from being attempted again.)


3. Seen every Star Wars film on opening weekend – to my utter shame.


4. Written fiction and been paid to have it published. It wasn’t much, and I kept my day job.


5. Held a long-standing record for most-times-riding-amusement-park-ride-X-in-a-row-without-throwing-up.


6. Lived for three weeks on a 48-hour schedule, i.e. awake for 32 hours (with a one hour nap) and then asleep for 16-hours (with a brief break for a snack). It was interesting, but I don’t recommend it.


7. Had a medical mishap that led to a widespread change in the use of a particular drug.


8. Foreclosed on someone else’s property. (It was investment property, so no, I didn’t put anyone out on the street.)


9. Driven through a major city during a racially-provoked riot.


10. Designed a house and had it built.

10 Things you’ve probably done, but I never have:

1. Commuted more than five miles to work.


2. Been fired or laid off.


3. Been pulled over for a moving violation.


4. Drunk an entire domestic beer.


5. Dumped someone. (I’m not counting the stalker who I never actually met face to face.)


6. Ridden a bus to school.


7. Missed a federal or state or county or school election. (I’d say all elections, except I missed a city council run-off four years ago. In fairness, I was about to move out of the jurisdiction.)


8. Watched the needle go in, even when I was giving myself shots for allergies.


9. Gone out to a party in either high school or college. (I’m not that dull, really, but a combination of my shyness and poor hearing made parties a very bad place for me to socialize.)


10. Sent out my resume. (Instead, I blundered into my first job out of college which turned into a great career path and led directly to my current position via an acquisition.)

10 Things I haven’t done, and you probably haven’t either:

1. Walked on Io.


2. Swam the English Channel, using only the breaststroke.


3. Been burned in effigy.


4. Won the lottery – the big one, none of this $5 crap.


5. Ridden in the Pope-mobile.


6. Fucked a goat. (Please, no one chime in with their own accomplishment here.)


7. Parachuted naked into my university graduation ceremony. (If I’m wrong on this one, send video.)


8. Been secretly replaced by an android.


9. Put a whoopee cushion in Captain Picard’s chair.


10. Drunk Zolo in the timeline which was widely considered to be the prevalent probability wavefront prior to the Great Causality Violation of 2284/1908.

Now, what I'd really like to see is a list of "Ten Truth Tables You Never Want to See Evaluated." But I'm weird that way.