January 21, 2007
Nevada's new slogan
I had the good luck today of finding an old digital camera that I thought I'd lost. Included on it was this photo I snapped of an SUV while visiting Arizona.
I shit you not.
Tinfoil Beanie by Dan | Permalink | Comments (0)
January 17, 2007
George Falling in more than the Polls
This little web page shows George Bush truly falling.
Tinfoil Beanie by Dan | Permalink | Comments (1)
July 20, 2006
Spock, Look... It's Camelot!
In a cross-over that spans continents, centuries, and light-years, the original Star Trek cast sings the Monty Python "Camelot".
Tinfoil Beanie by Dan | Permalink | Comments (1)
July 06, 2006
Leafing through the personals
I was leaving through the personals and found a new category:
Tinfoil Beanie by Dan | Permalink | Comments (1)
June 19, 2006
Cookie Condoms
I don't think I'll ever be able to watch Sesame Street again the same way...
Tinfoil Beanie by Dan | Permalink | Comments (2)
June 10, 2006
Animal Magnetism...
I just ran across this collection of little one-panel comics that are done with the same rendering software I use.
Check out this one on Animal Magnetism.
Though I think MAW is really going to appreciate these Great Tits.
Meanwhile, my own comic project continues to wallow in the cave of "no time".
Render /Tinfoil Beanie by Dan | Permalink | Comments (0)
June 08, 2006
Overheard at the pizza joint...
So, I was on the way out of my local pizza joint, and I passed by a woman and two men outside on a smoke break.
Woman: ... but I only do that when I've been drinking.
Man: Well, maybe you need to be drinking more.
Woman: Yeah, now that you mention it, I probably do.
How I would have loved to have come into that conversation thirty seconds earlier.
Did I mention this was in uber-conservative Williamson County?
Tinfoil Beanie by Dan | Permalink | Comments (0)
April 21, 2006
F Club
I’m a big fan of Fight Club, both of the movie and of the original novel form. Recently, however, I came to the following modification. Maybe it was just one too many jokes of replacing "the Force" with "my pants" in Star Wars – I don’t know. I’m not even sure if I thought of this myself or just read it somewhere, but the rules work remarkably well with only trivial edits. So well, in fact, that I just had to share them, though I suppose I’m breaking the first two rules by doing so.
Fuck Club
The first rule of Fuck Club is - you do not talk about Fuck Club.
The second rule of Fuck Club is - you DO NOT talk about Fuck Club.
Third rule of Fuck Club, someone yells Stop!, goes limp, taps out, the fuck is over.
Fourth rule, only two people to a fuck.
Fifth rule, one fuck at a time, folks.
Sixth rule, no shirt, no shoes.
Seventh rule, fucks will go on as long as they have to.
And the eighth and final rule, if this is your first night at Fuck Club, you have to fuck.
I think number seven is my favorite.
I started to wonder if this would work for other F-words. I got as far as "fart" and nearly passed out.
Tinfoil Beanie by Dan | Permalink | Comments (0)
January 21, 2006
Apparently, there is pornography on the internet...
This wonderful little video lets us know that, evidently, the internet is for porn. It's work-safe as long as you've got headphones.
Tinfoil Beanie by Dan | Permalink | Comments (1)
December 17, 2005
Dungeons and Dragons: Gateway to the Occult!!!
If you're worried about your children falling prey to the EVILS OF DUNGEONS AND DRAGONS, then be sure to check out this informative video.
Keep your children safe. Ban dice and books from your home.
Tinfoil Beanie by Dan | Permalink | Comments (1)
November 09, 2005
Terrel Owens Fired for Being an Asshole
This week, the Philadelphia Eagles are doing the dead-level best to fire Terrel Owens. Apparently, he's a bit of an asshole.
REALLY???
Tinfoil Beanie by Dan | Permalink | Comments (6)
October 16, 2005
Lord of the Rings... with Ninjas!
I recently had a lovely time over at fugaciouslover's house watching the last half of the Lord of the Rings extended editions. Here's a bit from the first film which I unfortunately missed. At least I think this is in the extended edition. ;)
Note: I didn't create this. I don't know who did. I just stretched it to a larger size to make the text more readable.
Tinfoil Beanie by Dan | Permalink | Comments (0)
October 11, 2005
As kids see the world...
I ran across this yesterday:
I was out driving with my three young children yesterday, and we pulled to a stop light behind a vintage, red convertible. An attractive, young woman stood up in the passenger seat and turned to wave to us. She was stark naked. While I sat in a mild state of amused shock, my five year old daughter cried out, "Mom! She's not wearing a seat belt!"
Tinfoil Beanie by Dan | Permalink | Comments (0)
October 05, 2005
Another little custom image maker
Well, this one's a bit more... hmmm... interesting. Don't you just love the Japanese mind? (NWS behind the cut)
This little manga thing can let you go across the full spectrum:
My only complaint is that the arms are always back, even without the bondage.
Tinfoil Beanie by Dan | Permalink | Comments (1)
Looney Legos
I don't think I've seen this at the Lego store...
Tinfoil Beanie by Dan | Permalink | Comments (0)
September 30, 2005
Re-release of The Shining
I don't know if you've heard, but they're doing a re-release of Stephen King's The Shining. From the looks of the preview, they've taken a slightly new direction this time.
Tinfoil Beanie by Dan | Permalink | Comments (1)
September 13, 2005
No, honey, what I meant was...
(Not apropos of anything... just that I hadn't posted any silliness lately.)
Tinfoil Beanie by Dan | Permalink | Comments (0)
August 02, 2005
A Different Cinderella Story
I don't normally just do jokes, but this one was too good not to pass on:
Cinderella wants to go to the ball, but her wicked stepmother won't let her. As Cinderella sits crying in the garden, her fairy godmother appears, and promises to provide Cinderella with everything she needs to go to the ball, but only on two conditions.
"First, you must wear a diaphragm."
Cinderella agrees. "What's the second condition?"
"You must be home by 2 a.m. Any later, and your diaphragm will turn into a pumpkin."
Cinderella agrees to be home by 2 a.m. The appointed hour comes and goes, and Cinderella doesn't show up. Finally, at 5 a.m., Cinderella shows up, looking love-struck and very satisfied.
"Where have you been?" demands the fairy godmother. "Your diaphragm was supposed to turn into a pumpkin three hours ago"
"I met a prince, Fairy Godmother. He took care of everything."
"I know of no prince with that kind of power. Tell me his name"
"I can't remember, exactly ...Peter Peter, something or other...."
Hat tip to the Keeper.
Tinfoil Beanie by Dan | Permalink | Comments (0)
August 01, 2005
Remember: August is Anal Sex Month
Tinfoil Beanie by Dan | Permalink | Comments (2)
July 08, 2005
Wow... there are now DOZENS of weblogs
I couldn't help but laugh at this and pass it on. From an article discussing the growing power and role of blogs in political battles such as the coming nomination(s) to the Supreme Court:
Political groups preparing to battle over the first U.S. Supreme Court nomination in 11 years have a powerful new tool -- Internet blogs -- to spread information quickly and influence decision makers without relying on traditional media.
Web logs likely numbering in the dozens provide a way for the thoughtful and the passionate to publish their views. Politicians are taking notice as they prepare for the first high court nomination fight since the Internet became common in American households.
Wow... there are now dozens of blogs? Golly! Jim, Wally, and I had better investigate this. We'd thought there maybe eight, tops -- and that's including those two LiveJournal gals.
Tinfoil Beanie by Dan | Permalink | Comments (2)
June 16, 2005
Immortalized in a comic
I've evidently been immortalized in a comic, Day Old Bagels. I'm not sure how I feel about being portrayed as kilt-wearing goat-sodomizer, but... I just get all misty-eyed to have my Scottish heritage recognized. <g>
Tinfoil Beanie by Dan | Permalink | Comments (0)
April 15, 2005
Scam Alert!
If you get an envelope from a company called the Internal Revenue Service, DO NOT OPEN IT! This group operates a scam around this time every year. Their letter claims that you owe them money, which they will take and use to pay for the operation of essential functions of the United States government. This is untrue! The money the IRS collects is used to fund various inefficient and pointless social engineering projects.
This organization has ties to another shady outfit called the Social Security Administration, who claim to take money from your regular paychecks and save it for your retirement. In truth, the SSA uses the money to pay for the same misguided make-work projects the IRS helps mastermind.
These scam artists have bilked honest, hard working Americans out of billions of dollars. Don't be among them!
Tinfoil Beanie by Dan | Permalink | Comments (1)
April 12, 2005
Bad mood image
I wasn't really in a bad mood when I did this (quite the opposite), but I have felt like this before:
It's also available on a variety of apparel at my store.
Render /Tinfoil Beanie by Dan | Permalink | Comments (0)
April 09, 2005
Darth Papal
(Again, my apologies to Catholics grieving a great man, but this was damn funny!)
Tinfoil Beanie by Dan | Permalink | Comments (0)
April 01, 2005
The Pope is Dying?
So, the Pope is dying, eh?
On April 1st.
How do we know God's not just dicking with us?
(My apologies to Catholics everywhere. I know it was in bad taste, but it was just too good to pass up.)
Tinfoil Beanie by Dan | Permalink | Comments (0)
March 28, 2005
On the subject of bunnies
Passing on a link to Bunarchy, where there's a catchy flash animation/tune.
Tinfoil Beanie by Dan | Permalink | Comments (0)
March 27, 2005
Bunnies!
To comemorate this religiously significant day, I present you with three completely irreverant images.
Sorry I've been so quiet lately, but I'm deep in a secret project. If it fails, I'd just as soon everyone not know, but if it succeeds, I'll be basking in the wonderful accolades of "What -- that's all? Damn, I thought you were really doing something."
Wish me luck!
Tinfoil Beanie by Dan | Permalink | Comments (0)
March 14, 2005
Steak and BJ Day
Remember all, today is Steak and BJ Day.
Just remember, folks, you use your teeth on the steak, not the BJ. Got that?
Tinfoil Beanie by Dan | Permalink | Comments (1)
February 27, 2005
Out of the mouth of babes...
Mom had better know where it came from or Dad's in trouble.
Tinfoil Beanie by Dan | Permalink | Comments (0)
February 14, 2005
Only twenty-eight days!
It's a very special day today. It's only one month to Steak & Blow-job Day!
(It's also a pretty nice day to be with MAW, who recognizes the difficulty of getting a babysitter on Valentine's Day and would rather go out later in the week anyway.)
Tinfoil Beanie by Dan | Permalink | Comments (0)
February 10, 2005
The newest basketball star...
You have to see this to believe it -- no description can do it justice.
I suspect it's a fake, but several Snopes queries came up empty. If it's real, we'll just have to see whether the NBA would count it as travelling.
Tinfoil Beanie by Dan | Permalink | Comments (0)
February 08, 2005
Louisiana State Quarter
In recognition of Fat Tuesday, the Federal Mint has issued a new Louisiana state quarter:
Tinfoil Beanie by Dan | Permalink | Comments (0)
February 07, 2005
Unfortunate juxtaposition
I have done nothing here but image capture these two ads as they appeared and add the animation to properly move between the frames.
Tinfoil Beanie by Dan | Permalink | Comments (0)
Mardi Gras Crackdown
New Orleans has promised to crack down on public displays of nudity at Mardi Gras festivals. We see the police hard at work here. Note the supply of "citations" hanging from the rear view mirror.
Tinfoil Beanie by Dan | Permalink | Comments (0)
January 29, 2005
Iraqi vote
In a few hours the main Iraqi polls will open. The ballot is much longer and more complex this time than the last time Saddam held an election. In that "election", there was only a simple "yes" or "no" vote for Saddam. Voting was usually mandatory, and generally not secret.
We have here a translated version of that most recent ballot:
Enjoy your democracy, Iraqi's. Pretty soon you'll be blaming the stupid 51% just like us.
Politics /Tinfoil Beanie by Dan | Permalink | Comments (0)
January 23, 2005
Two-ply for Touchdown Tush
(Hat-tip to The Keeper for this one.)
Tinfoil Beanie by Dan | Permalink | Comments (0)
January 21, 2005
Boromir meets Dr. Evil
Check out this scene from the Fellowship of the Ring that we didn't get to see, where Boromir channels for Dr. Evil.
Tinfoil Beanie by Dan | Permalink | Comments (1)
January 16, 2005
So cold...
It's actually freezing in Texas, so can this be far behind?
Tinfoil Beanie by Dan | Permalink | Comments (0)
January 13, 2005
Good industry buzz generated by latest Apple products
I can't wait to see the dancing sillouette ads for this one!
Tinfoil Beanie by Dan | Permalink | Comments (0)
January 07, 2005
Prince Charming's Older Brother
Tinfoil Beanie by Dan | Permalink | Comments (0)
January 01, 2005
New Year's Resolutions... Planning for Success
The key to success in New Year's resolutions is to target your goals carefully. Thus, I present my 2005 New Year's Resolutions:
- Watch more Reality TV.
- Read less, especially books.
- Gain fifteen pounds.
- Download at least ten gigabytes of bad porn.
- Infuriate friends. Lose at least two.
- Triple the number of alcoholic blackouts -- bonus points for ER visits.
- Raise my blood pressure 20 points and my cholesterol by 50.
- Try to forget family's birthdays -- not just overlook them but actually forget the dates.
- Increase debt.
- Use more sarcasm to increase clarity.
Good luck on your resolutions!
Tinfoil Beanie by Dan | Permalink | Comments (0)
Happy New Year!
Tinfoil Beanie by Dan | Permalink | Comments (0)
December 26, 2004
Happy Boxing Day!
Tinfoil Beanie by Dan | Permalink | Comments (0)
December 12, 2004
Ster-i-lize!
Tinfoil Beanie by Dan | Permalink | Comments (0)
Diamond season
We're getting into the peak diamond season, so I had to share:
Warning: A friend of mine bought his wife a $9,000 diamond ring for their tenth wedding anniversary. He did not get these results.
Tinfoil Beanie by Dan | Permalink | Comments (0)
December 08, 2004
Canada Busy Sending Back Bush-Dodgers
The flood of American liberals sneaking across the border into Canada has intensified in the past week, sparking calls for increased patrols to stop the illegal immigration. The re-election of President Bush is prompting the exodus among left-leaning citizens who fear they'll soon be required to hunt, pray and agree with Bill O'Reilly.
Canadian border farmers say it's not uncommon to see dozens of sociology professors, animal-rights activists and Unitarians crossing their fields at night.
"I went out to milk the cows the other day, and there was a Hollywood producer huddled in the barn," said Manitoba farmer Red Greenfield, whose acreage borders North Dakota. The producer was cold, exhausted and hungry. "He asked me if I could spare a latte and some free-range chicken. When I said I didn't have any, he left. Didn't even get a chance to show him my screenplay, eh?"
In an effort to stop the illegal aliens, Greenfield erected higher fences, but the liberals scaled them. So he tried installing speakers that blare Rush Limbaugh across the fields.
"Not real effective," he said. "The liberals still got through, and Rush annoyed the cows so much they wouldn't give milk."
Officials are particularly concerned about smugglers who meet liberals near the Canadian border, pack them into Volvo station wagons, drive them across the border and leave them to fend for themselves.
"A lot of these people are not prepared for rugged conditions," an Ontario border patrolman said. "I found one carload without a drop of drinking water. They did have a nice little Napa Valley cabernet, though."
When liberals are caught, they're sent back across the border, often wailing loudly that they fear retribution from conservatives. Rumors have been circulating about the Bush administration establishing re-education camps in which liberals will be forced to drink domestic beer and watch NASCAR.
In the days since the election, liberals have turned to sometimes-ingenious ways of crossing the border. Some have taken to posing as senior citizens on bus trips to buy cheap Canadian prescription drugs. After catching a half-dozen young vegans disguised in powdered wigs, Canadian immigration authorities began stopping buses and quizzing the supposed senior-citizen passengers.
"If they can't identify the accordion player on The Lawrence Welk Show, we get suspicious about their age," an official said.
Canadian citizens have complained that the illegal immigrants are creating an organic-broccoli shortage and renting all the good Susan Sarandon movies.
"I feel sorry for American liberals, but the Canadian economy just can't support them," an Ottawa resident said. "How many art-history majors does one country need?"
In an effort to ease tensions between the United States and Canada, Vice President Dick Cheney met with the Canadian ambassador and pledged that the administration would take steps to reassure liberals, a source close to Cheney said.
"We're going to have some Peter, Paul & Mary concerts. And we might put some endangered species on postage stamps. The president is determined to reach out."
(Hat-tip to The Keeper.)
Politics /Tinfoil Beanie by Dan | Permalink | Comments (2)
November 28, 2004
Oooo, Pixar sushi!
In honor of seeing Pixar's The Incredibles:
Tinfoil Beanie by Dan | Permalink | Comments (0)
November 25, 2004
Happy Thanksgiving!
Wishing you all a happy Turkey Day. I'll be spending mine with about 20-30 of the Bergstrom clan, which is about half of our current size of 53 (I think). While I can say many wonderful things about Hannah, today I'll just say this: she and her offspring are some serious breeders.
Tinfoil Beanie by Dan | Permalink | Comments (0)
November 22, 2004
Mmmm, pork!
Pretty good advice if you ask me.
Tinfoil Beanie by Dan | Permalink | Comments (0)
November 21, 2004
Mmmm, that's good bacteria
Ever wanted to give someone a flesh-eating disease?
Tinfoil Beanie by Dan | Permalink | Comments (0)
November 19, 2004
Stomach troubles...
This explains the stomach troubles I've been having...
Tinfoil Beanie by Dan | Permalink | Comments (0)
November 13, 2004
Go Kansas!
Normally, I'd be routing for the Longhorns, but this girl's school spirit has turned me around:
Tinfoil Beanie by Dan | Permalink | Comments (1)
November 11, 2004
Company picnic gets out of hand
HappyTester's tales of MartyrGirl reminded me of this:
Tinfoil Beanie by Dan | Permalink | Comments (0)
November 09, 2004
Please, think of the kittens
Tinfoil Beanie by Dan | Permalink | Comments (0)
November 06, 2004
Magic-Eye
Wow, I finally saw the hidden image in one of those magic-eye images. See if you can:
Tinfoil Beanie by Dan | Permalink | Comments (1)
November 03, 2004
Parting shot...
This will be my last political entry for a while, even humorous ones. I'll be getting back to NaNoWriMo with earnest.
However, I did want to pass on one last political joke image that I've been saving since 2000.
It's over-the-top partisan gloating, and given how classy Kerry was in his concession, I was tempted to not post it at all. But then again, I thought it was pretty damn funny.
Still, angry Democrats should probably just skip it.
Politics /Tinfoil Beanie by Dan | Permalink | Comments (0)
Almost there...
Well, it's not over yet, but it looks close.
It looks like Ohio has gone to Bush, some networks say yes, some no, and that would make it 269-242 EV's. So... it's probably going to be Bush, but we just don't know. We'll have to see what happens with the Ohio provisional ballots and the rest of the pending states, though most of those states are favored for Bush.
But, it could still happen. If enough of the Ohio provisional ballots are valid, AND if 90%+ of them are for Kerry, maybe.... OR, if all the rest of the states go to Kerry, AND the electors all vote as allotted (giving a 269-269 EV tie), AND he beats the odds and is chosen by a Republican House, then yeah, Kerry could still win. At this point, I'll give that a 20% probability, though I think that's generous.
Plus, for what it's worth, Bush has a clear lead in the popular vote.
Originally, I had two joke images to run, depending on the outcome. For now, I'll give Kerry the benefit of the doubt and run the one for his victory.
Tinfoil Beanie by Dan | Permalink | Comments (0)
November 02, 2004
An Election Endorsement
Politics /Tinfoil Beanie by Dan | Permalink | Comments (1)
November 01, 2004
Mmmm... chad-filled goodness
A bit over the top, but well done.
And once again, here's hoping it's all over by midnight tomorrow.
Politics /Tinfoil Beanie by Dan | Permalink | Comments (0)
October 31, 2004
Pumkin Pi Anyone?
Tinfoil Beanie by Dan | Permalink | Comments (1)
Arkansas Quarter
Cumming soon from the U.S. Mint:
Politics /Tinfoil Beanie by Dan | Permalink | Comments (0)
October 30, 2004
Mother Hillary...
Forgive me if I'm a little punchy. I've had eight hours of sleep in the last sixty-eight.
Politics /Tinfoil Beanie by Dan | Permalink | Comments (0)
October 29, 2004
Arnie responds...
Arnold Schwarzenegger responds to Mel Gibson's opposition to California's stem cell referendum:
Politics /Tinfoil Beanie by Dan | Permalink | Comments (0)
Kitty-Litter Cake Recipe
Liberally stoken from the Keeper (I'd just link, but he keeps no archives):
Cake or over-ripe kitty litter box? Here's the recipe:
Kitty Litter Dessert
1 spice or German chocolate cake mix
1 white cake mix
2 large pkg vanilla instant pudding mix, prepared
1 large pkg vanilla sandwich cookies
green food coloring
12 small Tootsie Rolls®
1 new kitty litter pan
1 new plastic kitty litter pan liner
1 new pooper scooper
Prepare cake mixes and bake according to directions (any size pans). Prepare pudding mix and chill until ready to assemble.
Crumble white sandwich cookies in small batches in food processor, scraping often. Set aside all but about 1/4 cup. To the 1/4 cup cookie crumbs, add a few drops green food coloring and mix until completely colored.
When cakes are cooled to room temperature, crumble into a large bowl. Toss with half the remaining white cookie crumbs and the chilled pudding. Important: mix in just enough of the pudding to moisten it. You don't want it too soggy. Combine gently. Line a new, clean kitty litter box. Put the cake/pudding/cookie mixture into the litter box.
Put three unwrapped Tootsie rolls in a microwave safe dish and heat until soft and pliable. Shape ends so they are no longer blunt, curving slightly. Repeat with 3 more Tootsie rolls bury them in the mixture. Sprinkle the other half of cookie crumbs over top. Scatter the green cookie crumbs lightly on top of everything -- this is supposed to look like the chlorophyll in kitty litter.
Heat 3 Tootsie Rolls in the microwave until almost melted. Scrape them on top of the cake; sprinkle with cookie crumbs. Spread remaining Tootsie Rolls over the top; take one and heat until pliable, hang it over the side of the kitty litter box, sprinkling it lightly with cookie crumbs. Place the box on a newspaper and sprinkle a few of the cookie crumbs around for a truly disgusting effect!
(Final kudos to the Keeper, a guy who's been posting daily updates, a.k.a. blogging, for nine years now. He's been blogging since before blogging existed.)
Tinfoil Beanie by Dan | Permalink | Comments (3)
October 28, 2004
What flavor is that?
More political humor...
Politics /Tinfoil Beanie by Dan | Permalink | Comments (0)
October 27, 2004
Washington Pricks
More political humor...
All I can say is, "Way to go Colin!"
Politics /Tinfoil Beanie by Dan | Permalink | Comments (1)
October 26, 2004
Young Spock...
Finishing off the season with some political humor...
Tinfoil Beanie by Dan | Permalink | Comments (0)
October 23, 2004
In the doghouse...
Tinfoil Beanie by Dan | Permalink | Comments (0)
October 17, 2004
But officer, I had to speed...
I want these!
Tinfoil Beanie by Dan | Permalink | Comments (0)
October 13, 2004
But honey, I brought butter...
Tinfoil Beanie by Dan | Permalink | Comments (0)
October 06, 2004
Outsourced humor
Here's a funny little Flash film about outsourced tech support. It reminds me of many tech support calls I've had, though many of them were actually here in the U.S. Here's a snippet:
User: <states problem>... and now it won't even start up. What do I do oh guru of technical wisdom?
Support: Have you tried restarting your computer?
User: Yes, and it... doesn't... restart!
Support: Is your computer plugged in? That is very much common mistake.
User: What kind of stupid fucking question is that? Yes, it's plugged in. Don't jerk me around. This fucking operating system is as unstable as Charles Manson, and I need help.
Support: Is your monitor turned on? Another common mistake.
User: Dumbass! It doesn't start up!
Thanks to the Keeper for the link.
Tinfoil Beanie by Dan | Permalink | Comments (0)
September 25, 2004
McBlowjob
Is this what it takes to get some decent service these days?
Tinfoil Beanie by Dan | Permalink | Comments (0)
September 15, 2004
Colin Powell unveils WMD...
You know, public figures shouldn't put on this kind of expression when photographers are around...
Tinfoil Beanie by Dan | Permalink | Comments (0)
September 12, 2004
Football season
Today I acknowledge the official start of the cheerleader football season.
If only I'd understood what it meant to be a male cheerleader back when I was young enough...
Tinfoil Beanie by Dan | Permalink | Comments (5)
September 08, 2004
Florida flooding...
A friend passed this on to show the dangers of the flooding in Florida:
Tinfoil Beanie by Dan | Permalink | Comments (3)
September 07, 2004
Practicing their love...
It's no secret that I support Bush, and I agree with where he's going with these comments on medical malpractice suits, but this is just too damn funny not to pass on:
"We've got an issue in America. Too many good docs are getting out of business. Too many OB-GYNs aren't able to practice their love with women all across this country."
If only he'd had the Barry White voice to pull it off right.
Politics /Tinfoil Beanie by Dan | Permalink | Comments (2)
September 04, 2004
Have a safe Labor Day weekend
A lot of you may be heading out to the beach or the lake this Labor Day weekend for some fun on the water. Just remember to follow these important safety instructions:
Tinfoil Beanie by Dan | Permalink | Comments (0)
August 28, 2004
A message from your dentist
Tinfoil Beanie by Dan | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBack (550)
August 23, 2004
More muppet porn... and a stab at a comic strip
MAW was ragging on me about all the muppet-porn, so I figured I'd really show her. Besides, it gave me the impetus to at least try to prototype a comic strip. It doesn't have the characters I want to eventually use, but I just wanted to see if it was feasible. I didn't size it quite right, so it's a little too wide for my blog-format. As a result, I've done it as a pop-up here:
Render /Tinfoil Beanie by Dan | Permalink | Comments (3)
August 22, 2004
Ah, that new car smell...
Tinfoil Beanie by Dan | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBack (860)
August 18, 2004
The Stupidest Man on Earth
This was just too funny to pass up.
INTRODUCING THE DUMBEST GUY ON EARTH!
This picture is real - not doctored in any way - and was taken by a Transportation Supervisor for a company that delivers building materials for 84 Lumber. When he saw it in the parking lot of IHOP, he went to buy a camera to take pictures.
The car is still running, as can be witnessed by the exhaust. A woman is either asleep or otherwise out in the front seat passenger side.
Witnesses said their physical/mental state was OTHER than normal. The driver finally came back after the police were called, and was found crouched behind the rear of the car attempting to cut the twine around the load! Luckily, the police stopped him and had the load removed. The materials were loaded at Home Depot. Their store manager said they made the customer sign a waiver. While the plywood and 2X4s are fairly obvious, what you can't see is the back seat, which contains -- are you ready for this? -- 10 bags of concrete @ 80 lbs. each. They estimated the load weight at 3000 lbs. Both back tires exploded, the wheels bent and the back shocks were driven through the floorboard. The car, with FL plates, was headed for Clanton, Al. where the couple presumably planned to build a new house!
Almost a Darwin Award's nominee, but fatally short on one requirement.
Tinfoil Beanie by Dan | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack (178)
Obiwan's got some splainin to do
I recently watched “Star Wars: The Phantom Menace” again (yes, I’m Lucas’ bitch) and came to the conclusion that our great Obiwan must have had some explaining to do after the great battle. This other scene of his with Yoda must have been cut.
Obiwan: Yes, master Yoda?
Yoda: Speak to me you will of today. Great deeds done were many, yet of yours little I know.
O: It has been a victorious day, though a sad one for our order.
Y: Yes, sad for us, but happy many others are. Queen Amidahla quite resourceful showed herself to be. A godlike pilot young Skywalker is said to have been. Even Bantha-fodder-brains-for Binks Jar Jar successful in battle was. Yet little for yourself to show have you. Tell me you will.
O: Well, Qui-Gon and I fought the dark lord of the Sith.
Y: Together fought you?
O: Well, yes, at first. He was very skilled with the lightsaber. His was really big and had two ends. Forgive me, master Yoda, but we should get some of those.
Y: Size of ones blade matters not. (winks) Together at first, you say. Separate from your master did you?
O: Well, yes. We were in this large chamber that went down forever, and I fell off the bridge.
Y: Fell, did you? Here you are yet.
O: There was another bridge, you see. I landed on it.
Y: Return to your master you attempted?
O: Certainly, master Yoda. I jumped back up to the first bridge and chased after them, but there was this energy field, you see.
Y: Passed through it Qui-Gon did?
O: Yes, well, no. It turned off and then back on. Actually there were a lot of these energy fields.
Y: For switch did you search?
O: Ummm, no. I didn’t think of that. But they opened again anyway so I went running through.
Y: Find your master again, did you?
O: Well, almost. The energy fields turned on again, and I was stuck between them.
Y: And Qui-Gon faring how was?
O: Well, that’s when the Sith killed him.
Y: Hmmm, and responded you how?
O: Well, I uh… I waited for the field to go down.
Y: Nothing did you? Lying dead was your master and nothing did you?
O: Well, I did scream “NOOOOO!” and glare at the Sith really angry-like.
Y: Hmmm, yes, a true Jedi master you have become.
O: Then the field went off—
Y: A switch found you?
O: Well, no, I had just waited.
Y: (shakes head and makes obscure Jedi gesture) Continue.
O: So, then we fought. He was really good, you know, with that big lightsaber, but then I cut it in half, so it only had one end. I really rocked on that one.
Y: And then slay him did you?
O: Well, no, not just then. He used the Force to push me into a hole.
Y: Hole the same as with bridges?
O: No, this was a different hole.
Y: Many holes your story has. Continue.
O: So, I was hanging on to the wall of the hole, and then he kicked my lightsaber down into the hole too.
Y: Catch it did you?
O: No. I guess I wasn’t thinking.
Y: A trait often you show.
O: Well, I did start thinking then. You see, Qui-Gon’s lightsaber was just a little ways off, so I jumped up, used the Force to grab it and then cut the Sith Lord in half. Now that was heroic, if I do say so myself.
Y: And where the body of the Sith now is?
O: Oh, it fell down hole.
Y: With your lightsaber, yes?
O: Um, yeah, so I don’t really know where it is.
Y: (paces) Continue.
O: So, then I rushed over to Qui-Gon just in time to hear his dying words.
Y: (shocked) Alive was he?
O: Barely, but he did tell me to—
Y: Broken your comm device was?
O: No, not at all, it worked fine.
Y: But battle already over was! For five minutes dying your master was! Nothing you did?
O: Well, there was this energy field, you see…
Y: Yes, and much “NOO!” screamed you did, but no “med team stand by” did you or “backup send” did you. Not even a “to whom it concern may” did you try!
O: Gee… I hadn’t thought about that. They did come pretty fast afterwards.
Y: Obiwan, ashamed you should be. Weak-minded fools performed better would have.
O: You are wise, master Yoda. Next time I’m in trouble, I’ll be sure to call for help.
Y: If in the future rescuing you need, expect not the ranks of Jedi, nor with the cavalry not will I arrive to rescue you not.
O: Forgive me, master Yoda, but though I am skilled in the ways of the Force, I do not understand what you just said. Will you, or will you not arrive with the cavalry?
Y: Hmmm, difficult to say. Always in motion is my grammar. Enough of this. The boy we will now discuss…
Narrative /Tinfoil Beanie by Dan | Permalink | Comments (2) | TrackBack (1464)
August 15, 2004
Where those defense dollars are really going...
Tinfoil Beanie by Dan | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack (357)
August 05, 2004
A little bit of French bashing...
It's not that I have anything personal against anyone who is French. I'm just like the guy who used to tell Polish jokes, except I'm about 1000 miles to the west.
Tinfoil Beanie by Dan | Permalink | Comments (0)
July 28, 2004
New NASA funding
Faced with congressional budget cuts, NASA has been forced to seek new sources of revenue.
Tinfoil Beanie by Dan | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack (1905)
July 27, 2004
Mmmm... Muppet Porn
I give you my word of honor that I had no part in the production of this.
Tinfoil Beanie by Dan | Permalink | Comments (0)
This land...
Here's a short flash video "This Land" that has enough to offend and amuse just about everyone. Enjoy.
Politics /Tinfoil Beanie by Dan | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack (336)